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On Anger

Filed Under: Self Awareness

 Excerpt from the Aug 26 2004 Daily Report with Some Additional Thoughts


When anger is the emotion we choose, it is there as champion for our hearts.


It is a very serious matter whenever we are talking about our heart and this is why anger is such a serious and strong emotion. It is there to grab hold of our attention and relay to us this serious breach in boundaries. Anger is the very champion for our physical life force and passion. That is, it can be this if we learn to be honest about allowing anger to exist in our lives consciously. If we are willing to practice how we work with this emotion and if we are willing to allow that anger exists to be the number one champion for our heart.


If we are feeling hurt, then anger steps up to make us aware of this so we can take actions to reset the boundary. By doing so we are truly healing the hurt and fully nurturing ourselves.


Anger translates to hurt in progress. Like a foreign language, anger can be tranlated as “i am feeling hurt”. We must stop allowing the bravado of anger to lead us around, move us into frightening actions and generally scare us silly enough to want to avoid working with our anger properly in any way at all. This gives anger far, far more power and also gives this one emotion the extremely bad reputation which has persisted throughout human history.


Anger is there to call attention to our hearts. And that’s it. We don’t choose anger to carry through into violence or emotional trauam of ourselves or those around us. Not at all. Those actions happen when we refuse to really work with our anger. When we deny anger or refuse to translate it in the moment we feel it.


Only by working with our anger constructively to stop and think about what is happening in that moment we feel our anger rise can we hope to truly put anger into its place as being an emotion, not a nemesis to eradicate at all costs. Otherwise anger is so physically powerful that it easily will lead us around, take the upper hand and taking on a life all its own.


A large part of our enlightnement process is working to master and constructively face our emotion of anger. Learning to take this most potent of emotions and work with it in a free flowing capacity. This does not at all mean we will be throwing our anger around all the time. Quite the opposite.


It likely also may mean the end to cancer as a major disease of the human race , since the parts of our body stuffing the most anger on a regular basis are quite likely to be those that contract cancer. Release that over-stuffed anger and you just may release cancers’ grip as well. At the very least you will walk away feeling lighter than you ever thought possible as anger which is held captive carries some of the highest density of any of our emotions. This is my personal opinion based on all the years of my work and life thus far which I share for whatever it may be worth to you.


Usually when the emotion of anger comes up, it is towards others . We can also have a fair share of anger at ourselves too. Frustration is a toned down , not-allowing-it-to-be-fully-valid type of way of saying anger in my experience, so if you feel frustrated then you are really angry. Calling anger by its real name, and allowing yourself to FEEL angry is a great and necessary step to being free of its power over you! By not naming it as clearly as possible we are allowing it to power us , but we are doing it from an attempted innocent point of view. “oh I didn’t realize”….but emotions, and especially something as serious as anger, will not care what your thoughts were and how you wanted to disguise it to the world. We lose our power over it when we play innocent, no matter how great our logic and no matter how cleverly we can disguise it or bury it. It’s just more insidious and can boil into unstoppable rage at some point or into a myriad of diseases.


Here are some words we tend to use so as to disguise to ourselves the anger energy: disappointment, frustration, emptiness, ennui, confusion, irritation and annoyance. Anything we label cutely so as not to see how deep and how intense the feeling runs in us is definitely not going to help us release the feeling.


Many are afraid that if they call it “anger” outright that it will mean they must be a raving lunatic. This is a belief to let go of if you hold it. Our emotions come but our actions are another choice! Some of us have grown up in households where emotion rules action without reason stepping in. This is pretty scary , of course , especially when we are children and are on the receiving end of it by an adult (who “should” know better). This is a reason to stunt us on the whole matter for a while. But is not meant to stop us – in fact it is more so in my opinion a dangling of challenge for us, to find the way that is healthy.


Anger is one of the full complement of emotions we have in the tool box of being human. We don’t have to choose it all that much, but if we do , we absolutely did so for a valid reason.  Our task is to figure out what boundary was breached and take right -actions to remedy the rift for ourselves in as win-win a way as possible.


Actually, I have found that by labeling anger with our brains and getting our logic involved formally, we will be creating the necessary environment to detach enough to maybe get a glimpse at what fostered that anger . If things get out of hand, you can always come back and say you are sorry ! Sometimes, when people blow up and then come together to apologize, then they are ready to talk more equitably and get quite a bit accomplished! Confrontations can be healthy. And just as with everything else, we are allowed to practice. In fact we need to practice this skill. We usually find ourselves practicing this much more with those in our family and with those close to us.


A confrontation is any communication dance between two (or more) who are trying to voice different opinions based on their personal experiences. If we are afraid to communicate to others when we feel our boundary being breached somehow (whether this is real or imagined) , we are in fact making a vote for non-action. For non-investigation and non-growth of our soul. This will guarantee a buildup of inner tension because energy flows, so if we are trying to stop that flow, we will feel pain in some way. The best thing to do is roll with the flows and work on bringing emotion and reason together for an unbeatable team that can take us anywhere!


Both parties can express their views in a healthy way, even if the timbre of voices is stronger. There are only a couple of rules that I personally have found beneficial to keep in mind. One is to remember that apologies are going to be in order at times when I am too hurt (aka “stubborn”) to look inward enough. Especially with our children this is very important! As I’ve grown with this though, I really have found myself able to work things out well right from the start. Getting to the core of your hurt right away is the aboslute key to releasing anger’s grip.


This all further reinforces the right-action of healthy confrontations as being more than just possible, but as often being really splendid vehicles of soul growth. The other rule is for when I can’t quite do this.


Then I back up no matter what , to think about the valid reasons behind my inability to be successful. I don’t know those valid reasons yet , of course, but simply by beginning with the absolute knowing that there is a valid reason, then I will probably find it fairly quickly. I also play with the basic knowledge that if I cannot get my points across in a good way, then I am at fault. Usually this indicates deep, deep hurt. There is always some truth to everyone’s’ view in my experience and if I am not willing to concede anything to them, then I am perhaps too hurt to do this. Anger steps in as champion for our heart. My anger is always about me. About my hurt. It may be that two people are working on their personal hurts by using one another as practicing partners. But each persons’ anger is all about them. Not about the other at all. It never was. It’s like two sparring partners in the gym, practicing with one another , but doing this so that each can fulfill his own goal of getting or staying in good form. We do not exercise with someone to get them into better shape. We don’t do this with anger and word confrontations either, I have found. To think otherwise is ego imbalance asserting itself. When we argue with others, in other words, we are simply meeting on a surface pretense. We need to try not to lose ourselves in that pretense and make it “the reason” as so oftentimes happens. Getting caught up in it all will hurtle us headlong, into bitter invectives, increased hurtfulness and at the most egotistically imbalanced , to actual physical warfare or fighting. I simply share all of my experiences and insights for whatever it may be worth to you.


Subtle energywork and Anger. Sometimes in facilitating for myself or others I will clear what I term the “reservoir of anger”. It is subtle energywork and therefore easy and non-invasive. It takes anywhere from 15 seconds to perhaps a few minutes, working beautifully as a temporary release . This breathing room translates in the moment to the ability for some amount of logic to reassert itself, giving us enough detachment to step back from totally being our roiling emotions. If one has an overabundance of anger that they have never worked with and that has been sitting on them for years, taking that intensity down a few degrees is pivotal while they practice their new approaches to working with anger. Within 30 seconds or less one can feel tension ebbing and then some mental clarity can reassert itself. In all situations, releasing “hot” anger through pure subtle energywork is a wonderful technique to add to your tools and one everyone can do!

Releasing Anger Through Subtle energywork: A Technique for Everyone


Tune into your body and begin to focus on what parts of your body are holding anger. For example, what is the flow between Anger and your Lungs? Lungs in oriental medicine are said to hold grief. Grief (hurt) and anger are often twins. What you would want to check are any body functions or systems or organs that actually have been sore spots of awareness for you over your life. One of the most reliable places we tend to carry anger is in reproductive system. If you have never felt you could breathe properly, check those lungs out with anger! If you feel pelvic discomfort in the mornings upon wakening, check your spleens’ flow with anger. If you have had cancer or are precancerous, that would be your first priority to check with anger. And if you have injured any body part more than once over your lifetime, check that with anger.


While focusing on that specific part , also focus on your desire to release the anger stored there. No matter what part you are working on, you may feel heart twinges as you release, since all anger can in some way relate to our hearts. Try to visualize the part you are focusing upon, see if you can sense it lightening. See if you can sense it lightening, if not visually , then in whatever way you best are able to work. Everyone is able to work in some way. This is the perfect time to find your way or ways! Indeed, depending upon how extensive your medical history is, you may be giving yourself huge clues to begin learning this of yourself. As soon as you tell yourself you can, then you can. We can let anger drive our lives or we can let this powerful emotion be our stalwart champion , paving the way for deep honesty, self love and true empowerment.